You understand that except for masturbatory programs offered by us on the Site (the Service and the Site are not available for your personal, non-commercial use only. You represent, warrant and agree that you will count to 20,000 by groups of 3 before you make any search through the Service. In addition; you agree not to use the Service or the Site to:
· Harvest or collect organs, either human or animal or other contact information of other goat herders from the Service or the Site by electronic or other means for the purposes of seeking prostate exams
· Use the Service or the Site in any unlawful, or lawful manner or in any other manner that could damage, disable, overburden or impair the Site
· Use automated scripts to collect information from or otherwise interact with the Service or the Site
· Impersonate any phallic god, or falsely idol or otherwise misrepresent yourself, your IQ or your affiliation with any person or entity
· Upload, download, reload, unload of anything at anytime
· upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make publicly available on the Site any private information of any fifth party, including, addresses, phone numbers, dress size, email addresses, penis size, Social Security numbers and credit card numbers
· Solicit personal information from everyone under 18 or solicit lame excuses or if they are beneficiaries of a public school education
· Intimidate or harass another while wearing tin foil hats, or watching Return of the Jedi, Lord of the Rings or Star Trek
· Upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available content that would constitute, encourage or provide instructions for a criminal offense, violate the rights of any party, or that would otherwise create liability or violate any local, state, national or international law
Repeat Infringer Policy
In accordance with the Digital Millennium Falcon Copyright Act (DMFCA) and other applicable law, FelonSpy has adopted a policy of terminating the Force, in appropriate circumstances as determined by Master Yoda and at Company's sole discretion, surfers who are deemed to be morons. Company may also at its sole discretion limit access to the Site and/or terminate the oxygen of any users who annoy us or fringe on our good humor and infinite patience.
You are not solely responsible for your interactions with other FelonSpy users or this site. Obviously your alcoholic mother and abusive father are partly responsible. We reserve the right, but have no obligation to settle disputes between you and other all other individuals and groups based on the traditional method of Mongolian Camel Spitting Text of Truth.
We care about the privacy of our users. Except yours. We do believe it’s too bad Congress and our President do not. By using the Site or the Service, you are consenting to have your personal data transferred to and processed in the United States. By using this site, we hope the educational experience does not surpass the media muddled brain.
FelonSpy.com is not responsible or liable in any manner for anything, including lazy reporting, ignorant attorneys, and clueless law enforcement. Although we do not provide rules for user conduct we do not control the lame posts in their blogs, and are not responsible for the lack of breast feeding users suffered from. The Company is not responsible for anything. Is this clear? THE SITE, THE SERVICE (INCLUDING THE MOBILE SERVICES, THE SHARE SERVICE AND THE MARKETPLACE SERVICE), ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS AND THE SITE CONTENT ARE PROVIDED "AS-IS" AND THE COMPANY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL REPRESENTATIONS AND WARRANTIES, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF TITLE, MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. THE COMPANY CANNOT GUARANTEE AND DOES NOT PROMISE ANY SPECIFIC RESULTS FROM USE OF THE SITE AND/OR THE SERVICE AND/OR ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS. COMPANY DOES NOT REPRESENT OR WARRANT THAT SOFTWARE, CONTENT OR MATERIALS ON THE SITE, THE SERVICE OR ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS ARE ACCURATE, COMPLETE, RELIABLE, CURRENT OR ERROR-FREE OR THAT THE SITE OR SERVICE ITS SERVERS, OR ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS. THEREFORE, YOU SHOULD EXERCISE CAUTION IN THE USE AND DOWNLOADING OF ANY SUCH SOFTWARE, CONTENT OR MATERIALS AND USE INDUSTRY-RECOGNIZED SOFTWARE TO DETECT AND DISINFECT VIRUSES. WITHOUT LIMITING THE FOREGOING, YOU UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT YOU DOWNLOAD OR OTHERWISE OBTAIN CONTENT, MATERIAL, DATA OR SOFTWARE (INCLUDING ANY MOBILE CLIENT) FROM OR THROUGH THE SERVICE AND ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND RISK AND THAT YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR USE THEREOF AND ANY DAMAGES TO YOUR MOBILE DEVICE OR COMPUTER SYSTEM, LOSS OF DATA OR OTHER HARM OF ANY KIND THAT MAY RESULT. The Company reserves the right to continually and repeatedly play hoaxes on people until the sheep wake up and realize not everything on the internet is what is claims to be. Or until the world as we know it finally implodes under the weight of its own stupidity.
Limitation on Liability
IN NO EVENT WILL COMPANY OR ITS DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES OR AGENTS BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANY THIRD PERSON FOR ANY INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, INCLUDING FOR ANY LOST PROFITS OR LOST DATA ARISING FROM YOUR USE OF THE SITE OR THE SERVICE, ANY PLATFORM APPLICATIONS OR ANY OF THE SITE CONTENT OR OTHER MATERIALS ON, ACCESSED THROUGH OR DOWNLOADED FROM THE SITE, EVEN IF THE COMPANY IS AWARE OR HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. NOTWITHSTANDING ANYTHING TO THE CONTRARY CONTAINED HEREIN, THE COMPANY'S LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ANY CAUSE WHATSOEVER, AND REGARDLESS OF THE FORM OF THE ACTION, WILL AT ALL TIMES BE LIMITED TO THE AMOUNT PAID, IF ANY, BY YOU TO COMPANY FOR THE SERVICE DURING THE TERM OF MEMBERSHIP, BUT IN NO CASE WILL THE COMPANY'S LIABILITY TO YOU EXCEED $00.10 ( Ten Cents). YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IF NO FEES ARE PAID TO COMPANY FOR THE SERVICE, YOU SHALL BE LIMITED TO manual RELIEF ONLY, UNLESS OTHERWISE PERMITTED BY THE LAWS of Daulphaine Providence on the Planet Mars, CERTAIN STATE LAWS DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON IMPLIED WARRANTIES OR THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF CERTAIN DAMAGES. IF THESE LAWS APPLY TO YOU, SOME OR ALL OF THE ABOVE DISCLAIMERS, EXCLUSIONS OR LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU, AND YOU MAY HAVE ADDITIONAL RIGHTS BUT CONGRESS AND THE SUPREME COURT WILL PROBABLY HAVE TAKEN THEM ALL AWAY BY NOW.
The Company may terminate your marriage; delete your bank accounts and any content or information that you have ever collected over the entirety of your life for any reason, or no reason, at any time in its sole discretion, with or without notice, including if it believes that you are under age 96. When we are notified that a user has died we will not send flowers but rather say a small prayer and fire our AK 47s into the air. We will generally, but are not obligated to, keep the user's account active under a special memorialized status for a period of time determined by a custom magic 8-ball.
Governing Law; Venue and Jurisdiction
You agree to
indemnify and give the Company, its subsidiaries and affiliates, and each of
their directors, officers, agents, contractors, partners 10% of all future
proceeds after making your first FelonSpy Search.